Yesterday, as the New England Patriots were pretty much destroying the Chargers, I drifted into Facebook land and mindlessly began scrolling through my news feed. Profile pic comparisons. Memes. Food. Babies. More memes. More profile pic comparisons.
Then I read this:
“Anyone else have teen girls? My fd14 (fd=foster daughter) really needs a few new bras. While doing the laundry I seen hers were in bad shape. She's only been with us a few weeks. I asked her what size she wore and she had no idea. All the bras she has range from b to dd. She's never been sized for one or how one properly fits. How do I get a correct size for her ? I've heard good and bad reviews from Victoria's secret. I don't know how to approach this ?
Thanks from a struggling new teen Mom”
I was immediately touched so deeply by what this foster mom was trying to do for her foster daughter. And, what followed this woman’s post, inspired me even more. Dozens of women chimed in; each of them sharing a tip, a website, a store that would provide a good fitting. Some were funny. Every one of them was encouraging. This mama got what she needed and then some. Nearly 100 supportive responses rallying around her and her teen.
I loved every second of it. It even made me cry a bit.
Because growing up is tough. Growing up a girl is really tough. And growing up a girl in foster care, well, I can’t even imagine how tough that must be. So much about your body, and your mind, is changing. It’s hard to explain and even harder to understand when you’re going through it. On top of that you are not home, you are not surrounded by what is familiar. You may be separated from your siblings and school friends. And what usually helps is having someone close to you to guide you, to talk you through some of the awkwardness and answer those questions that you’re sort of embarrassed to ask.
I have two daughters of my own; both beginning the path towards womanhood, and we’ve talked, pretty openly, about all of it. It’s been awkward at times, but we’ve powered (and giggled) through it. I’ve been so relieved knowing we have each other at a time that can be so confusing and uncomfortable and even a little scary.
My heart aches for the young girls who are going through this time in their life without a person like this woman. A woman who cared so much about getting this right that she was brave enough to admit she didn’t know the answer and needed help. She didn’t share her daughter’s name. She was discreet and sincere.
I want this for every girl. I want each of them to know that there is a fiercely protective and incredibly knowledgeable and genuine team of warrior women out there who would love to help them navigate the waters of growing up a girl.
I hope more people like this awesome foster mama feel brave enough to ask these kinds of questions. I hope they all get their answers.
And, I hope that every girl in foster care that could use One Simple Wish to help ease them into whatever transition they are facing, knows that they can count on us - anytime. We’ll be sending this foster mama and her teen on a shopping & lunch date. We hope it helps them bond and mark an important moment in their relationship.
If you know of a teen in foster care that could use One Simple Wish, please contact me ANYTIME.
Here’s to the village it takes to raise a child. I’m so proud and honored to be part of it.
-D
Photo Credit: Photo by Brad Lloyd on Unsplash